Four Things I'm Doing

Eating Veggies:
You know how I was going to do this vegan thing for six weeks starting April 1st? Well, I did it and then some. Actually, I guess I never became totally vegan as I take fish oil capsules every day. Also, I "cheated" by having sushi a couple of times. (Mmmmm. Crunchy shrimp rolls. Turns out they are more addictive than cheese. Who knew?) I guess I'm a mostly vegetarian girl with vegan tendencies. I will add back in eggs as soon as our friend who has an organic farm starts selling her chickens' eggs. I know those chickens are happy, healthy, and having wonderful little chicken lives. I don't think I'm going to add back in skim milk or cheese like I thought I would. I have found a substitute cheese that I like just fine. I know some people are all het up about soy products but I don't eat a lot of them so I'm not worried. In fact the only processed food I eat these days are my vegetarian refried beans, fat free pretzels, and my veggie shreds! Even so I try to limit them because, oh my, they have a surprising amount of sodium in them. The rest of my diet is fresh fruit and vegetables. I eat fruit and only fruit in the mornings, a big honking salad and sometimes a tostada for lunch, and mostly cooked veggies for supper. For snacks I have my pretzels, raw almonds, natural cashews, and a half an avocado here an there. I feel more fueled and more content about food than ever before in my life. I don't feel deprived or have food cravings at all. I have no idea how I'll feel in the Fall - as fresh fruit is harder to come by and I get cold. (Being cold triggers all kinds of food things for me!) But for now I'm relishing my happy relationship with healthy foods.

Getting Faster:
Sunday we had a longer double brick - bike 20 miles, run 3, bike 20 miles, run 3. Poor Donna was dealing with some serious hormonal grumpies and discomfort already but then at the very start of our first ride, she had a bizarre allergic reaction to something (maybe on her chin strap?) She itched and had welts and was miserable. But she refused to quit even when I suggested we stop and put the whole thing off until the next day (Memorial Day.) I had the first great ride I've had in probably a year. It was hard but I was in a great zone. And then we ran our first three mile set. Our paces were 11:17, 10:45, and 10:31. HOLY CRAP that's fast for us! (Seriously - a good day is when I can have a couple of miles that come in under 12 min/mile.) But our average for those three was 10:51! And it was POURING rain. (Miraculously it rained only while we ran, not once as we biked for the whole day. It was a little odd.) The rain was nice in a way because it wasn't stormy (just wet) and it cooled us off - but WOW were we soaked. My second run wasn't as fast, averaging 11:43 over the three miles, but each mile came in under 12 and I felt great when we finished. I'm thinking the consistent training, the new hill workouts, and the group runs with speedy folks are beginning to show some results. Yay!

Weirding Out During Recovery:
I think I need to learn even more about recovery. I keep having a significantly "down" day after big workouts. Sometimes I feel feverish, sometimes just out of sorts, but always needing not to be around other people for awhile. I'm sometimes a little sore, but not in a way that would keep me from working out if it weren't a recovery day already. (In fact after Sunday - the only part of me that was at all sore were two new bruises and the muscles in my arm from what Gazelles would call a "small falling down incident" when I tried to make a u-turn on my bike too slowly.) So I think I have my nutrition down but what's up with the blues?? Anybody else have this happen to them or know what I can do about it?

Balancing Everything:
I LOVE being a blogger. I thrive on the community and connection. Y'all are totally fabulous and my triathlon journey would not be the same without you. And my life journey wouldn't be the same without triathlon. But I'm having a hard time being consistent in keeping up - so here's my new plan. (OMG - I LOVE plans. I'm now addicted to them after following training plans that actually get me to my goals!!) I've been torn between limiting my blog reading or limiting my commenting. I've decided to do a bit of both. I've narrowed my reading list as much as I can (mostly weeding out the Russian blogs I used to follow that took me too long to translate anyway - so sorry Glaven - no more weirdness coming your way from them.) And I've got a plan to comment, not on fewer blogs - but less frequently, like once a week. I'll be in a perpetual state of catch up for some blogs, but I'll recover my sense of blogpeace. So - if you don't hear from me for a while, don't think I've stopped being a fan! I've got some great things going in my 3D world - like my kids all being home for the summer (yipee!!), a book project that's going well, and launching a new career that will dovetail with my writing/training/whole life. (<--More on that when I finish my training and the thing's taking off.)

TODAY I LOVE: bath pillows and dumpster diving (in the magazine recycle bin to make collages)

When The Word Brick Is Followed By An "S"

First, a little Linky Love because Blogland is so awesome right now:

• Have you seen Benson's Swine Flu post?? OMG - I've had this open on my desktop for days now and it cracks me the hell up every, single time I see it!!
• If you haven't already - head over to Brian's for the chance to win the Big B Swag Bag (including a piece of The Wall!) from his upcoming Great Wall Marathon on the 16th. He needs some songs for motivation and you can help. BTW, how freakin' cool is that for a marathon??
  
• Don't go to DCRainmaker's blog unless you want to see some gorgeous pictures of Seattle and the first ever picture of his elusive Girl. Jeanne once called him the enfant terrible and that name totally made me chuckle. I love his blog even though it puts mine to shame. He travels and trains and eats gorgeous food 10 times more often than I ever will and he blogs about it all practically in real time with amazing pics. Good thing he's so nice or I might have to hate him.
• I've found two more B2B peeps! Missy is doing the half and KrissyGo is doing the full. Yay!
  

Now about those brickS! Bricks - we all know and love bricks. What's not to love about jumping off the bike and trying to run when your ass feels like lead and your legs may or may not even be down there anymore - oh wait, you can see them and there's a vague thudding sensation nearby so your legs must be kinda sorta working? Some bricks are better than others. I don't really mind swim-bike bricks. (Those are still called bricks, right? I know the races like that are called aquabikes but the training plans I've read still call those workouts bricks.) See, all of this talk about bricks plural and it's no big thing. But then our training plan (that I may begin to hate Formulaic for) called for bricks plural on Sunday. Us - two bricks, one workout. As in "15 mile bike followed by 2 mile run, times two." (BTW - we're doing this 18 week plan twice through - once at the "beginner" level and then after a two week break, a second time at the "intermediate" level to end at our first half iron in good shape. The double brick is the beginner level. Next time through it will be a triple brick. Help me, Sweet Baby Jesus.) Do you get the idea that this thing scared the kee-rap out of me? We'd already had a big day on Saturday so I was not sure at all I could do this workout as prescribed.

Guess what? We KICKED it. As in a) we finished both bricks and b) the pace of our final two miles on the run was 30 seconds faster than pace of our first two mile run - which was already slightly faster than our "normal" pace to begin with!! Boo-yah! (So, Form, you are safe from my wrath - in fact, I may owe you a great big, sweaty hug!)

All through the first brick we kept looking for ways out of the second. It wasn't happening. The weather was great, there were no mechanical issues, and even me leaving my bike glasses at a bathroom stop couldn't be turned into more than an excuse to ride an exta mile out of the way. So Donna and I started talking about how we didn't have to do anything but finish the second one. It didn't have to be as good/fast/easy as the first one. It merely had to be done. We could do that - just finish it. Every wheel revolution and run step taken on that second brick was gravy. Every bit was pushing into new territory - doing something we'd not done before. Gravy, gravy, gravy we kept telling ourselves. We were more than a little punchy at the end. Can you tell? Guess those endorphins had finally kicked in. The second brick turned out to be smoother, stronger, and faster! Forget it being plain old gravy. It was transformational gravy! (Which we decided would be a great name for a folk group but would suck as a punk band name.)

I'm still not sure how we did it but I'm beginning to trust and love the training process. Of course, I might not feel that way for very long. I still have an hour worth of sprint, hill, and leg drills on the bike trainer this afternoon. Peace peeps!

TODAY I LOVE: transformational gravy and recovery days (like yesterday - still savoring it!)

Valentine's Day And Beyond

Valentine's recap:

Family Stuff: Lots of fun was had. The kids played Little Big Planet - a wee, silly & chaotic video game. There are poppet figures and skate boards and stickers and a spaceship pod. Much laughter rang through the house. Saturday Angus had a gift certificate to KitchenWorks he wanted to spend. He is my guy who wants to be a chef. He got himself a blue knife, a blue mug with dogs and bones on it, and a blue mortar and pestle. (Do you know how hard it is to find blue stuff on a weekend where all the displays are red things? "Angus, Angus, quite contrary." It may not rhyme but it fits.)
Iain finally let me take a picture of him smiling with his braces showing. He's totally cute but don't you think he looks like a total redneck in this picture?

We ate yummy heart-shaped food. These are Donna's special iced oatmeal cookies. They were gone in a flash. (Which is a good thing because they are not Zone friendly!)
We also had Valentine's empanadas:
Some were stuffed with chicken and some with beef but my favorites were stuffed with spinach:
The empanadas were especially fun to do because it involved re-connecting with a high school pal of mine who has returned to the US after living in Peru for four years. She now writes a blog and posts recipes of South American food to about.com.

Job Stuff: John is still waiting to hear about the next round of interviews. It is nerve-wracking to wait in silence but we found out his references are being checked. Yay! There is forward momentum.

Training Stuff: things have been going well. We had a great five mile run. It's amazing what sleep and good nutrition will do for you! I got my five hours in last week and am on track to get my five hours in this week. I feel focused and committed. The consistency is building. Good thing! The first phase of our official half iron plan starts on Monday. I've gotten all the pieces in place (I think) except for figuring out the exercises listed for the speed workouts at the track. I had planned to work on that this week but with the return of cold, dark, rainy days - that's a no go.

Racing Stuff: I think we are not going to do the Country Music Half Marathon after all. It's $100 this year! There is a half marathon in High Point, NC the next week for half that. I'll run on my own for the week I'm in Nashville and then come home and do the more affordable, local(ish) race.

Random Stuff: Do you ever do things that bug you? I catch myself rinsing out water bottles before putting them in the recycling bin. I go to take off my shoes and they are double-knotted. Why?! I mean, I know I am the one who tied them, but I'm not four. I can retie my own shoes if they come undone - which they don't. Having them double knotted is pointless and way more irritating than helpful. I'm working so hard on living and moving through the world intentionally and yet... Oh well. Progress, not perfection, right?

Reluctant Fish

We have a brand new aquatic center a few miles from our house. It opened on January 5th. It is beautiful. A separate pool for the kids, swim lessons, scuba, aqua-aerobics etc. Ten (maybe 12?) wide lanes solely for lap swimming. And my pass from the community center is valid there - sweet! Yet...today is the first day I've been able to make myself go get in the pool. It's been cold; I haven't had a swim specifically in my plan; I didn't want to go alone, blah, blah, another lame excuse, blah. This afternoon my need for a workout that wouldn't make my legs any more sore outweighed my aversion to putting on a bathing suit. I went. Alone. In the cold. I had to wait for a lane. I thought about bagging it.

I am so glad I didn't! I needed the quiet and the solitude. I needed the stretching and the pulling that is swimming. I needed the confidence from doing something new and on my own. I needed to learn if I could follow instructions like "DESCEND" on the training plan. Guess what? I can! My 4x100 DESCEND looked like this: 1:50, 1:47, 1:43, 1:42. Yay!! It was a short workout - only 1000 yards - so aside from a few drills and the warm up, cool down - the descending 100's were pretty much it. But still! Something new and faster than my usual steady swim of 2 minute hundreds. Maybe the push ups are helping after all? Maybe I knew there wasn't much else to the workout so it was easier to focus on getting those exactly right? Maybe I was just so glad to be back in the water again? Whatever the contributing factors - I'm grateful for a good swim!

Back When We Were Babies

I found it! This is the picture taken after our very first triathlon workout. (September 1995) After seeing a triathlon in person, Donna and I rushed out and bought the book Triathloning For Ordinary Mortals. We madly copied "key workouts" into our schedules and realized that the next day was a perfect day to start our plan. I don't remember if that first effort was a run or a bike (or a baby brick), but I remember the feeling of accomplishment. We were worn out and damn pleased with ourselves. I love having this picture as a touchstone to remember always the joys of enthusiasm, new challenges, hard work, satisfaction, and partnership.

Homecoming Drama

We have fantastic floor to ceiling windows in our living room. They're original to the house which was built in the 50's. They provide great natural light and a wonderful view of the squirrels in the yard. What is not so wonderful about these vintage windows is that when your slightly crazy dog tries to run at top speed through them (thinking they are open), they do not break into tempered, round, safe little bits like modern windows. Oh no. Instead, they crack and shatter and slice your poor puppy's face and paws. Wasabi is somewhat woeful right now but in a few weeks should only have some shaved spots and a Harry Potter scar to show for his misadventures. We're giving him lots of chin scratches, calling him Frankenpuppy, and trying not to think about how much worse it could have been.

In training news - the Madonna concert was incredibly inspiring. I love her music because it speaks to so many places I've been, but more than that. Madonna herself speaks to me. I admire and am inspired by her outspokenness, her ability to reinvent herself, her dedication to what she thinks is important, and last but so not least - her physique. Damn, she is hot! Her arms are chiseled, her thighs sculpted - she is so strong! She is ten years older than I am and in better shape than I have ever been in. Of course I haven't spent the last twenty-five years eating well, working out, and dancing eight hours a day. But I am ready to start now! Well, maybe not the dancing eight hours a day part. I'm thinking maybe 45 minutes a day might be enough to start with. Yes - I am all fired up to add Dance Cardio to the off season workout routine. (Remember the part where I think 50 degrees is too cold to run? Yeah. Clearly I'm gonna have to replace running with something indoors-y if I want to maintain any kind of aerobic base.) I'll let you know how it goes once I master all the moves but until then, you'll be on the money if you imagine the whitest girl you can flailing enthusiastically and arhythmically around her living room. Woo hoo!

And finally - push ups - Week 1 (for the second time): raging success. If I can do push ups when I'm hungover and do them well, then I know I'm going to finish this challenge with flying colors! Yay me!

Micro Post

The concert was a-freaking-mazing. Madonna is an icon of girl power and reinvention. She puts on a hell of a good show. I'm so grateful to have had the chance to see it. We're on the way home but not all the way back yet (being somewhere up around Baltimore). I had a quick a minute to post and decided to say - boy, am I glad we are NOT running in the Philly half marathon we had originally scheduled for Sunday. We woke up to about several inches of snow this morning! How do you Yankees deal with that?!! Hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace.

Triathlon At Pacific Grove - 9/13/08

I wasn't sure I was going to be able to write this race report. I have no words for much of what this race meant and continues to mean to me. But there are parts that I want to put out there - to share and to record in case I forget. In the interest of the quick read, here are the numbers for my first olympic distance triathlon:

Swim - 39:28
T-1 - 6:45
Bike - 1:44:52 (14.22 mph)
T-2 - 4:57
Run - 1:17:00
Total Time - 3:53:04

PRE RACE THINGS:

Putting our bikes back together in the hotel parking lot. That worked out okay.

Well, except for the part where my new best friend Hector of Winning Wheels checked Vivian over and said there were a few teensy things that needed to be fixed. Or replaced. Or recalibrated. Or put back in true. Dammit. (Thank you, thank you, thank you Hector for squeezing us in and making sure we had safe rides! Don't know what we would have done without you.)

The three of us (Lizichka, me, and Donna) at the pre-race meeting. Asking questions - even after attending the training clinic and reading everything on the website and in the registration packets. Can you say nervous neophyte racers?


One of the questions we asked was, "We have to swim to the SECOND line of buoys?! Are you sure?" Holy cow that looks a lot further out than we expected.


One of the things we were told was, "Don't worry. Most of those rocks will be covered by the tide at race time." Oh goodie. You know, I hadn't really thought about the rocks until the guy went on and on about it. I'd thought about the kelp and the otters and how far away the freaking buoys were and about sharks and the distinct possibility of getting stuck in my wetsuit, but not so much the chance of clanging into a rock.

THE SWIM: (1.5 K - 39:28)

Lizichka and I waving to John right before our swim start. Donna and the RBR girls are already in the water. Our wave was 15 minutes after theirs. A few quick things about the race start: I was not as "nervous" as I thought I'd be. There is usually a certain amount of dread involved in the feeling of "nervous" for me. That Saturday morning - after a year of training and half a lifetime of healing - I stood on that beach excited - not dreading anything. I had no idea how the day would go but it didn't really matter at that point. It was going to go - one way or another and I was ready to see how it would be. As we stood waiting for our turn, a woman Lizichka had been warming up with plucked a clinging kelp frond from Lizichka's shoulder. Then she waved it around and touched it to L's forehead as a blessing. The kelp benediction. It was such a small, silly moment, but it stands out to me as one I definitely want to remember. I love being in the midst of women and their energy.

Did I mention that we had to do two big triangular laps around those buoys? Or that in between the two laps we had to get out of the water and run around a big rock? The swim was harder for me than I expected. I hadn't warmed up enough for my body to acclimate to the cold water. I didn't feel cold but I had a very hard time breathing. My chest wouldn't expand and I couldn't get enough air. Finally, I scrapped all attempts at bi-lateral breathing (which was making me queasy in spite of the dramamine I'd taken) and settled into a good zone. I kept thinking, "This is happening. I'm here. I'm in the water. THIS water - the water that saved me. And I'm strong. This is happening!" It was cool. Until the very end of the first lap when a boat went by and the wake rolled in against the lower key tidal surge. Up, down, sideways, backward, up, down. Suddenly I was terribly, horribly nauseated. I hauled myself out of the water and around the rock, wondering if there was any way I could feel this bad and still swim another loop. When that picture was snapped I was thinking, "Oh God if I puke here everyone will run through it and hate me. You have to get around the rock, get around the rock, get around the rock and out of the way before you can hurl !!" I forced myself back in the water. While I wasn't "fine", I was much better and had a strong second lap. (I never did puke. Yay!)

T-1: (6:45)
I'm sure that's slow but I'm fine with it. I did it safely and there was a lot to navigate. I had to run up the beach and then some stairs and a ramp and down to the end row and then figure out how to get my wetsuit the rest of the way off and the warmish bike clothes on and then back out across the timing mat.

THE BIKE: (40K - 1:44:52)

That's RBR's run buddy in the pink right in front of me in the picture. You'd think I'd have been grateful to get on my bike but you'd be wrong. Biking is my limiter. It's mechanical and technical - two things I struggle with. Overall though - the bike was strong. It was a looped course so we got to go by our cheering section many times. We also got to wave at each other a bunch. It was fun to get to cheer and encourage each other when we were all at different paces. I'm not fast but I was steady in spite of a few challenges. I had to dodge a pigeon who was squatting in the center lane on the turn around by the announcer. The damfool thing CHARGED me as I wheeled around the curve. Stupid bird. The spectators got a kick out of it.

Then I hadn't secured my race number to my bike properly and I kept slicing my leg on the edge of it. Papercuts - who knew you had to worry about that on the bike? I tried to hold my leg at an angle but then it rubbed on the edge of my bento box. Clearly I needed to make some seat adjustments or something but I didn't want to stop and fiddle with all that. I did ask one of the officials if I could rip off my number but they said that would disqualify me. Stupid number. I got into the tough chica zone I suppose because I finally stopped worrying about the blood streaming down my leg and concentrated on pedaling evenly.

T-2: (4:57)
I felt like I was moving quickly in transition but even without a wetsuit I guess it just takes me a while. One negative: I discovered that someone had taken my Accel-Gel out of my shoe. Isn't that crazy?! What kind of triathlete steals another's nutrition?! (I needed that one dammit! It's the one with protein in it that I save for the second half of my run!) Oh well. Move on! Keep smiling! Keep thanking the volunteers! Keep enjoying the spectators like this one:

THE RUN: (10K - 1:17:00)

Yay! I finished! I walked some but I still beat my goal by seven minutes! I met a guy out on the course who was running with his brother, his stem cell donor. They ran it together to celebrate having a second chance at life. It was pretty motivating.


Here we are with our finisher's medals! (Lizichka, me, RBR, Donna, and RBR's LA Run Buddy)

AFTERS PARTY:

Here are a few pictures from Bullwhacker's down on Cannery Row - where we went for supper and to celebrate the day. I couldn't believe it was still there. (Twenty years ago we used to drink quite a few too many mudslides there and then try to navigate walking back up to the Presidio.) A special thanks to our beloved Sherpa John who was part paparrazi, part cheerleader, part pack mule, and all sunburned and worn out by the end of the day!

This triathlon represents tremendous growth and healing and change for me. I faced old trauma and celebrated my ability to create a new life for myself. I gained confidence by working for a specific goal over a long time and achieving it. I made fantastic, new friends in the process and renewed the friendships that got me through hell the first time I was out there.

AND I managed to write a race report about two months to the day after the fact! I have to say that I'm finally ready to let this sucker go:

On The Meaning Of Stronger

We're still putting our training plan together for the half iron goal but overall we want to be stronger. I've been thinking a lot about what being stronger means. Reading about Stef overcoming weather, ridiculous number of flat tires, and being strong throughout her quest to finish Silverman completely inspired me. There are so many facets to developing strength -whether it be mental strength or physical. Practicing patience, consistency, determination and kindness - that is what it's going to take for me to get stronger. I know it's a baby step and it's mostly in the physical realm, but it's a challenge I've been thinking about and talking about for a while. Today Donna and I are starting the 100 Push Up Challenge. (I want arms like Lisa's damnit!!) I'm pretty sure I'll be on week one for a while but I can do push ups three times a week. Yes I can. I hate them. I have resisted this goal. But it keeps sitting there, bugging me. It must be done. And I can do it. (I'll try to remember to post weekly results but feel free to call me on this one!) How many of you have done this challenge all the way through?

A PG Quickie!

We finished!! I'll do a real race report soon (next month? :D) For now, not only did I PR (first race, don't you know) but I beat my goal time of four hours with an official finish time of 3:53:04. I kicked kelp!! (Donna and Lizichka both beat my time - so really, we all kicked kelp!) Thanks for the wishes friends! (Oh - the pic is of Lizichka, me, RBR, Donna, and RBR girl LA Run Buddy.)

My Version Of The Way Back Machine

I realized that I've not ever gone back and given the full story of the triathlon training clinic. Since it was the reason we drove across country in the first place, it's a pretty big thing to leave out. (The half marathon, the national parks, the monuments, and the fabulous bloggy peep meet ups all fell into place as we began planning but the reason for the trip was the clinic.) So. Dialing back almost three weeks - here is what it looked like as we drove into Pacific Grove, California on Saturday, August 2nd:
Yes. Summer mornings in the Monterey area haven't changed much in the twenty plus years since I was stationed there. Our instructions were to meet at Lover's Point - at the corner of Ocean View and 17th. How hard could that be? Welllll - it was slightly more challenging than expected. We got there a bit early and saw several clumps of athletic folks meeting up. But most of them either hopped on bikes and sped away before we got up the courage to approach or they started strapping on scuba gear. Hmmmm. We finally spotted a couple of exceedingly fit people talking to a couple of somewhat less fit people who had plastic PowerBar schwag bags in their hands. Score! We'd found our clinic. (Digression and plug by a totally impressed newbie: Both the training clinic and our race (the Triathlon at Pacific Grove) are run by Tri-California Events - the same people who also run Wildflower and Escape From Alcatraz. They are exceedingly well organized and friendly. You would not believe how much safer and more excited I feel about the race having experienced their level of service and communication at the clinic.)

Tri-California Events runs several of these training clinics to help people prepare for the particular challenges of their specific events. Our clinic was the perfect blend of general beginner triathlon information and specific guidance and practice on how to swim through the kelp forest of Monterey Bay. We totally lucked out in that usually these clinics sell out and have about two dozen people in them. Ours only had eight. I think the next day's group was twice as large but for us it was almost like a personal coaching session as there were three coaches. And again, we had the perfect mix. All three coaches had different styles, experiences, and takes on triathlon. That is Reid Swanson in the picture. He was the main organizer, head speaker, facilitator coach. His wife Eileen Swanson was our second coach. (Thanks Stef for the link to her blog!) Eileen is a professional triathlete and coach. She and Reid are both blindingly beautiful and intimidatingly fit. But nice and funny! And they brought their puppy, Belle, who was darling. Our third coach was Les Waddel. Les is ridiculously cool. He was every bit as fit as Eileen and Reid but he's very old school. (In fact he cracked the group up twice talking about speedos - but one of the times he was using the word "speedo" to mean speedometer on the bike. That cleared up some of the confusion his earlier image had created but it made everyone laugh again anyway.) Les has been doing triathlon for as long as triathlon's been around. The man knows about every aspect of the sport. He's owned a running store and designed wetsuits; he leads open water swims; he has a daughter (Alexis) who is a pro now; I think he may be a doctor or chiro or something; and he's very down to earth. He has a great perspective on the sport and had some funny insights to share. As I said, we had a great mix of coaches that fit perfectly with our group. We had two guys and one girl who were quite speedy but pretty new to triathlon and the rest of us were back of the packers (although two of the gals had done quite a few races.)

The structure of the clinic was that we had a general briefing and then the coaches took us on the course. Bike first and then run; a lunch break with some good nutritional info and general Q&A time; then the swim in the afternoon. Knowing how crazy it's going to sound, I'm going to say it anyway: we paid for the full clinic and drove all the way out there, but I only did the swim portion. Donna did both the bike and the swim but skipped the run. Not only did we have the half marathon the next day that we wanted fresh legs for, but I used to run all over that area and felt pretty comfortable about being able to train myself for the course. (Granted it's been decades, but the land hasn't changed much.) The swim - that's a whole other thing. I did learn to scuba in those kelp forests but it's an entirely different matter to have to swim through the leafy tops quickly instead of winding slowly around the majestic bases 60 feet down. There was also an emotional reset I need to make in that water before race day. My goal is to be back there, where I was once a broken person, stronger and happier now than ever before. The Pacific - that cold, dark, punishing water - was my safest haven back then. I could throw myself in and scream and thrash and wear myself out deep underwater where no one could find out how bad off I was. Driving around the outskirts of the base, seeing landmarks and gaps where there used to be landmarks - all of that triggered my brain, my mental processes for sorting out the past. But it was wondering what visceral memories might get triggered by being submerged in that icy water for the first time since I left my broken self behind - that had me shaking with nervousness all morning. I definitely needed a reset.

I listened to everything and asked a lot of question. (I'm sure it will surprise you not to learn that I asked an obnoxious number of questions. Had there been more people or had any piece of it been running over schedule, I promise I would have shut up - but there was time and there were coaches who had answers. And there were fellow new-ish triathletes with stories I wanted to hear. How could I not ask questions of everybody? You learn such interesting stuff when you ask!)

One of the most important things I picked up on from having three coaches answer the same question is that the answer was almost always along the lines of "it depends". There are very few answers or solutions or tips that apply across the board. It can be overwhelming when you're brand new to keep hearing that you have to experiment, that it's trial and error for every single, solitary aspect of triathlon. It feels like there's so safe or solid place to even start. But what I took away from this clinic was that there are so many ways to do it right. There is a way to make it work for everybody. For every "how do I ..." question that was asked there were (at least) three different answers. It was great to hear what worked and what didn't work and why from each of them. In a discussion about transitions and how to lay out your stuff, Les was saying that he has his helmet and glasses right up on his aerobars so he doesn't even have to bend down to his towel to get them. Eileen said she can't do that because of how her aerobars are shaped. Reid then pointed out that Les is a very fast swimmer - almost always one of the first out of the water so he never has to worry about someone jostling his bike and knocking his stuff over before he gets there. Having that many answers together helped me think more clearly about my own framework. It helped to hear about struggles that the coaches had faced. It was wonderful to hear a pro like Eileen talk about how she only recently started opening her eyes underwater when she swims through the kelp. She used to only open them when she looked up to sight. (I thought, "Well I can't run any six minute miles, but I can open my eyes. That's something.")

Here we are getting ready for our second open water swim in our new wetsuits. Putting on a wetsuit in public is an exercise in humiliation. For a few moments it distracted us from worry about the upcoming swim. That water is cold and filled with ropy kelp monsters, barky seals, and curious otters.















It is amazing how much the coaching helped. All three coaches said they had to fight off nerves as they got in the water - that it was a matter of training yourself to get past the initial panic. Eileen explained the best way to get through the kelp was to be as horizontal as possible, skimming across the tops of the fronds. She told us to stretch out our stroke and to keep our pull pretty shallow so as not to get tangled. If we did get tangled or panic, we were to stop and relax to let the kelp slide off. Every single word of that advice helped! They mentioned a couple of tips I never would have thought of - like if you got sunscreen or bodyglide (or anything slick) on your hands, to make sure that you wiped it off before the swim because you want that resistance on the surface of your palm (and forearm) to help you grab and pull through the water. Makes complete sense, but I wouldn't have thought of it! I wish I could share everything they said and showed us. I won't even try (given how long this post already is!) I will say that we practiced all aspects of the swim - the group start, swimming one full loop of the course, actually trying to get tangled in the kelp to prove that we could let it drop off, getting out of the water and running around the rock to race back in, and finally the swim exit to bike transition. I gained so much confidence by following the coaches' instructions and working through every obstacle (mental, emotional, and physical) one at a time.
I got exactly what I needed out of the training clinic. It was worth every penny, every minute and every mile it took to get out there. The only regret I have? That I forgot to put on sunscreen as the fog burned off. Doh!

As a wrap up - best luck of luck to any and all racers out there this weekend but especially to DC Rainmaker who's rocking IMCanada!

San Fancisco Half Marathon - I Did It!!

I am ridiculously nervous in this picture! This was about 5:45 (which is about when Willie's wave took off, but ours didn't go until 6:25. Willie asked me the night before what time my wave left and I had NO IDEA. He said, "It's written on your bib." I knew it had the wave # but Willie had to tell me to turn it over to find my start time. Doh! Can you tell I haven't done this very much?) Oh and can you see the sunburn? Apparently you can still get sunburned through fog. I'll post more about the tri-clinic we did the day before, but the sunburn was absolutely the only bad thing about it.
I bought a fun headband instead of a 13.1 sticker, but then felt all kinds of pressure! What if I didn't make the 3 hour course cut off?
But I had a GREAT race. I felt amazing the entire time. I had a gel and water at every station (=4 total) and it worked for me. I know that would be too much for most, but I had the best run I've had in a long time. Real race report (might) follow (someday) - but for now? PR baby! By like 30 minutes! (That's what happens when you RUN the half marathon instead of freaking out and walking most of it!) I did carry my phone and I took some pictures of the Golden Gate bridge. It was so much fun to run over it and back!! That was my very favorite part of the race. I'm too tired to figure out how to get the pictures from my phone to my computer. I'm not particularly skilled when it comes to my phone. Willie sent me text updates as he ran. I tried to respond in kind, but how the heck do people text and run at the same time?! I could barely read the ones I got, much less frame a coherent reply. I tried to send a simple one saying we were at Mile 11. Later I found out that what I sent was like, "Mh !@b!/" Willie interpreted that as "Mile WTF?" - which wasn't far off after all. Also, remind me to tell you how we ended up in a suite at the Four Seasons Hotel - for FREE! (My birthday? I just keep celebrating it!) But for now... look who I got to meet!!! The RBR girls. All of them! How amazing that the day before they ran Barb's (Mary's) race (in 98 degree heat!!!!!) and then trekked to SF to hang with us! AND...
Willie! I got to meet Willie in person. He had a great race too. (Y'all know he flew out for this marathon spur of the moment? Who does that? Someday I'd love to be a good enough runner to decide at the last minute to go do a fun marathon!) We really missed Southbay Girl. It was her kind of weather - cool and overcast for the race, then sunny and pleasant for the "afters" party. Next time!
This is our whole crew: RBR girls, Willie, Donna, me, my college buddy Ray, who is local, and his son Josh. How lucky are we to drive all the way across the country and end up with this much support? We had a much delayed post-race lunch of seafood soup and sandwiches with Anchor Steam on draft. (Do you like how I could NOT take off my medal? Willie wasn't wearing his, but he did use it as a coaster for his Anchor Steam at lunch.)
Now we are heading East again. So. Tired. I can't wait for some time to catch up with what's been happening for everyone and to let these experiences sink all the way in.

Did I mention that I RAN further than I've ever run before? And I felt GREAT the whole time? Ya - hoo! I think I'm hooked. I is a runner! Peace my friends.

Manic Monday

Since we last blogged -

• There have been several WICKED storms in Chapel Hill. We lost power for part of two different days. And we lost a tree.
  
• We missed seeing Venus win Wimbledon (see above item) and we about missed a dinner party (not to mention almost having coronaries) watching Rafa beat Roger (finally!). God I LOVE tennis.
• I ran 7 (SEVEN!!) miles by myself. Walk breaks only for water and shot bloks and I maintained a 12:30 pace! Woo hoo! I've never run that far before. I had 14 miles for the week. Me! Running fourteen miles in one week.
  
• We are in the middle of an ELABORATE birthday celebration for John - with secret agent identities, missions, clues and maps and all kinds of fun.
  

Pictures to follow!

Today's Plan Calls For...

Yesterday, I finally finished some writing that has been hounding me for five weeks (and which had a deadline of last Friday - eek.) Resurfacing after some serious writing time is a s-l-o-w process for me. I felt worn out and accomplished and a tad foggy. I wondered what my workout was supposed to be for the day. (I'd given myself permission to skip it to get the monkey off my back first.) It was a scheduled rest day. SWEET! Until I remembered that I had a scheduled rest day on Thursday instead of the normal Friday because on Friday's schedule was a mock tri. AN OLYMPIC DISTANCE mock tri. (I'm sure my brain realized that if it had let me remember that bit of info any sooner then I might have stressed about it to the point of not finishing the hell writing. Smart brain I have!)

(Don't know why workout log reversed my input order, but I couldn't be bothered to mess with it. Too tard! Please be assured that we did things in the right order.) We have just finished the 12-week training plan for "unfit beginners" from Gale Bernhardt's book. (Awesome book - see my sidebar for a link!!) Our race isn't until September 13th, so our next step is to do the "fit beginner" plan. After the first plan we are supposedly prepared to finish an oly tri. After the second plan we should be able to improve our time. I'll be sure to tell you if that theory pans out!!

Now our transitions leave MUCH to be desired. (When you're having to navigate community center locker rooms, getting bikes down from/back up onto car roof racks, and locking and unlocking (after finding the key) etc - it takes a while! Granted, we did not have to extract ourselves from wetsuits...) But even with our 22 minutes of total transition time, we would have made the 4 1/2 hour cut off! Yay us! (Can you say "confidence booster"?)

I WAS FREAKING IMPRESSED WITH US! Mostly because we finished. It's the first time we have ever (ever, ever) done that distance. And the furthest we've run so far in training is 4+ miles last week (which was the disaster run for me. Remember when I passed out in front of the police station? Yeah, that run. Can you see why I was completely wigged out about today's run?) I gave myself permission to walk as much of the "run" part as I wanted or needed to. And being self-supported we had to go back to the car in the middle of the two-loop run to get water/fuel - and still my average pace was 13:47 min/mile. Donna's run was at least 4 minutes faster and would have been faster still except she stayed with me through the first loop until I shooed her on. Her energy was flowing. She was so strong! It was inspiring. I didn't have enough fuel (in part because I was writing and forgot to eat for about 10 hours yesterday - oops!) But the parts I ran felt solid. The parts I walked were fine and at a good clip. The weather was unbelievably gorgeous. I think it was in the 70's for the bike and the low 80's for the run, but we ran almost entirely in green, leafy shade. There were several particularly cool spots - like there was a hollow or cold sink close by. I saw a rabbit, a water moccasin, a brilliant red cardinal and his fat, gray baby mama, a whole host of wildflowers, and the dregs of some honeysuckle. (Oh - and a trillion baby strollers, fellow joggers, hordes of dogs walking and sometimes running their people, and one very interesting (perhaps simple?) guy who put his fingers in his ears and looked away every time he saw us coming. We had no loud music and we didn't try to force greetings on him - so not sure why he needed to block us out, but he did.)

It was a glorious morning. I LOVE this sport. I LOVE being athletic. I LOVE eating tortellini alfredo for lunch without guilt! I'd probably keep ranting on and on (because 6 hours later I'm still bubbling happily away) but we're going to a Durham Bulls game tonight to celebrate the first day of summer! Can't wait to get a chance to come back and see what everyone has on their weekend plates! BEST, BEST, BEST of luck to the scads of bloggy peeps at IMCDA Sunday and to Steve who's throwing down at Grandma's Marathon tomorrow. (<--Although be warned, do NOT click that last link unless you are prepared to read about the end result of digestion. He is obsessed.)

When I Say Low Volume

Yeah, last week was really low volume. The mock tri (obviously) did not happen on Saturday due to complete and utterly ugly life ickiness. It did not happen on Sunday due to my daughter's 13th birthday party. (We did the family celebration on the actual day and the party when her four best friends could all make it. Have you ever sat behind a group of sighing, sweet, slightly geeky 13 year old girls as they lose their minds over how cute Prince Caspian is? You are missing out if you said no.) However - when at first you don't suceed, tri, tri again! Today was the magic day. Mock tri done! The swim was great (solid, strong, fun), the bike was good (nailed the nutrition, beautiful weather, no flat tires!), and the run was ok (nice transition, slower pace than I wanted, but tender internal lady bits and creeping ITB issues to run through.) I'm proud of myself for getting it done. Often when I get "behind" on something it makes it that much harder for me to ever do. I decided that it didn't matter on this - late or not, it had to be done. I feel accomplished and energized (and tired and sore). I was excited to find out that Shot Bloks work for me!! I had the strawberry kind - which had more scent than flavor (which is a good thing for me). I cut them in half before I left home and that was the perfect size. They were still chewy but not as chewy as the Luna Moons. I'm going to order some margarita flavored ones (thanks for the idea Cindy!) and experiment with them as the weather heats up. Today was cool and sunny and gorgeous.

We're moving into the last phase of the first training plan, figuring out how to incorporate the half marathon training plan into it, and looking ahead to starting the next training plan - the one that will take us to the Sept 13th race. And finally? My dad called to say he was making reservations/plans to fly out to California to see the triathlon. Woo hoo! More on that tomorrow maybe, but it was a great day. Hope everyone else had a great long weekend. I'll be by to visit soon. Peace, my peeps.

Runs With Joy

I had a spectacular run today. I biked for an hour on the trainer and then high-tailed it over to the trail. I concentrated on running smoothly and breathing easily. I put Loreena McKennitt on the iPod and then just flowed up the trail. I hit the half mile mark at 5:34 (which is fast for me - being a 12-minute mile kind of gal all day long). I noted the number but didn't get caught up in it. I worked on breathing - breathing in air, the beauty of the trail, the cool green light filtering through the trees, the smiles of the other runners, the fun of frisking dogs - I breathed it all in. I wasn't surprised to see I'd slowed down to 11:40 at the mile (though that's still fast-ish for me as I said). I decided not to look at my watch after my 15 min turnaround point. I just ran. When I was aware of my legs it was only to feel how even and gracefully I was striding. I felt an incredible upwelling of joy. THIS is how I want to feel. THIS is what I want to be. Outside, comfortable, safe, strong, athletic, moving through the world, connected, ALIVE. Seriously, outrageously alive. I didn't have much to sprint with at the end, but I did stretch it out. I'd lost the timeless feeling of that third quarter surge but finished strongly for all that. Total run time: 29:18. Forty-two seconds worth of negative split - and no gut cramps. Joy and more joy! Can't wait to check in around the country and see how everyone's weekend finished up. (I'm following Elaine the PirateGirl from Tucson on IronmanLive and it is sooooo cool. I'm amazed and so grateful for the technology that lets us do so many uber-neato things - post pictures, befriend amazing people across the world, track HR, chart training ride elevations, follow race stats live, etc!) Peace, my friends!

What's That Ahead? Ah, The Back of the Pack

If you've checked out my "race" results on the sidebar you'll have noticed that when I say I'm slow, I mean slow in the objective sense - not in the relative "I'm slower than I was when I was an All-American college champion" sense that a lot of people seem to mean. My half marathon "run" time was at a pace slower than I can usually walk. (My pace was just over 15 min/mi.)

I'd have been slow no matter what - but I had a few issues in the two weeks before the race and then, was pretty freaked out during the race by the squillions of spectators. The spectators were awesome - cheering for everyone, positive, encouraging - the best you could imagine. Except it sent my already over-achieving adrenaline system into the stratosphere to have strangers yelling at me. I wasn't prepared to fight my own panic reaction on top of the challenge of just running 13.1 miles. Good lessons! And hey, the bright side is I have an EXCELLENT chance of setting a PR on my next half-marathon. It will still be slow, just not that slow.

That's what I'm about. I'm not particularly competitive with other people. I do like getting better than I used to be. I LOVE being a part of events. I'm all about being on the participant and finisher lists. I love the medals and the t-shirts. I love the social part and will try to rope everyone I know into doing the training/race with me. I'm a share the love kind of gal. So it's a little hard to talk about things that hit me down deep - things that aren't so pretty or polite. It's so hard, in fact, that this here post has sat on my desktop for the better part of the day without getting finished. What I need to say is that the idea of triathlon, running races, training and physical challenges - all of that motivates me. But the PG tri represents more than that for me.

I almost died in Pacific Grove in 1987. (Actually it may have been closer to Salinas.) I thought I was going to die, was sure of it for a few hours. And then I didn't - but wanted to - and couldn't imagine why I hadn't. My shipmates at the time became and have stayed some of my dearest friends. They called me back from hell. The Pacific, mother/monster ocean that she is, absorbed what grief I couldn't suppress or hide. She took me in, shared her darkness and teeming life with me, and then threw me back on shore. Time and again. Until I was strong enough not to need a place to dive deep and scream. She kept me safe - as safe as it was possible for me to be then. I made the journey back out to Monterey a couple of years ago - to face down what haunted me and to make peace and give thanks for what sustained me. I'm past that crux.

That task was a little bit like locating an ancient, unmarked grave; unearthing the pitiful contents; and reverently laying them to rest in hallowed and protected ground. The task ahead of me - the triathlon at Pacific Grove - is more like the next step: commissioning the perfect head stone and finally having a glorious, celebratory wake. [<--I come from an Irish family (redheads by the dozen!); we know how to do that kind of thing.]

I'm sure other races will mean a lot to me. It's a safe bet that I'll always have something to overcome to get myself to the starting line and I sure as hell will have lots to celebrate at any finish line. But this race - this set of starting and finishing lines? They're the ones that mark the completion of that long journey; they're the ones that signify surviving and thriving. It's reclamation time. I'm going to celebrate being on this planet, being connected to fantastic friends, being stronger than I imagined I could be. Slow, but still here! (I seriously doubt anyone else will have a completion time of 21 years, 7 months, two days and four hours.) Back of the pack, but absolutely joyful for being even hindmost of such a fantastic pack. That's me.

What's In A Name

I love that there is an Athena racing category. I think it's FANTASTIC. Maybe it's because I grew up with a grandfather who was a mythology professor, maybe it's from one too many inspiring trips to the Parthenon, or maybe it's just that it's a brilliant idea to use the goddess of justice and intelligence as a role model - but I am completely motivated by that label. I aspire to Athena status. (The weight requirement I've got down pat - it's the racing part that I haven't quite achieved yet!) Maybe if I were a guy, I'd be inspired by the idea of being a good Clydesdale, but I can't quite imagine it (no matter how much Budweiser I drink.) Athena, though, that's what I want to be!! I can do it too - if I keep having rides like today's that feel so great I only remember to stop pedaling because the alarm goes off. Yay for a great bike day (even with sore sit bones at the beginning)!

Bubbles

I get really distracted by bubbles during pool workouts. I love them. Maybe not to this degree:


But close! I love to see the tiny path of bubbles made by my hand spearing into the water. I work to blow my air all the way out in big bubbles underwater so I have room in my lungs when I turn my head up to breathe. I like seeing the bubbles from others swimmers feet, especially during flip turns. Bubbles wiggle wildly up, shushing by quietly. Out on the pool deck it's all loud and echo-y, but once you start swimming...silence. Or the next best thing - just the sound of you and the bubbles, man. Can you tell I had a good swim workout at o'dark thirty?

Do Tri-Geeks Dream Of Athletic Sheep?

What little sleep I did get was dominated by ridiculous dreams in which I was unable to register for the race due to a whole host of improbable obstacles: my computer sprouted bicycle gears instead of keys and I couldn't figure out how to use them; I had chamois butter on my hands that wouldn't wash off and I couldn't type my name in correctly (thank you Athena Diaries for the lacerated lady parts discussion that triggered that one!); I was required to input my heart rate while cooking (why cooking?) which I didn't know and the measuring of which completely stumped me in my dream; and finally the only other one I remember is that the registration form had one of those little boxes where you have to type in a word to prove you're not a spam bot only on this one it was sort of a science test question where I was supposed to (without looking it up) name a primary ingredient in one of the race sponsor's recovery drinks. Yeah. Anxious much?

Dream logic notwithstanding - this is all pretty fucked up. In his best Shaggy voice - John would tell me to "Re-rax" but he's asleep. Donna (whom I woke up to explain I was going to try to register so I could finally sleep) would LIKE to be asleep but my typing is probably keeping her from it. (Sorry!)

Here's the thing: I do know I need to chill out. I reassure myself that even I - stress puppy though I can be - cannot maintain this level of wacked anxiety/excitement for SIX MONTHS. I AM excited. I AM fearful - fear of failure, fear of success, fear of falling of my bike, etc. I AM chronic about the process (John calls me Chronic Cay and Donna has every right to call me Manic Meredith). But...(you had to know there was a but) on the plus side:
-I might as well ride this wave as it's easier, healthier, and more fun in the long run to let it carry me.
-I'll use the memory of this excitement as motivation on days when I don't give a bat crap.
-I can name only a few things in my life that have gotten me wound up in this way - and they've all turned out to be sustaining life passions (e.g. mommyhood, art quilting, my spiritual path, writing).

My internal wise woman would like to take this (sleepless) moment to remind me of what I do know:
-The race organizers really do want me to be in the race. (Well, not me specifically, as they don't even know me. But people like me.)
-I am fully capable of learning how to properly use my bike gears and heart rate monitor, apply chamois butter, and decipher training nutrition product labels.
-I am ALREADY stronger in mind, heart, spirit and likely even body than I was in 1987. I have already achieved that part of the ultimate or underlying goal - so the rest of it is gravy. Sweaty, fabulous, exciting gravy - but still gravy!

With that - maybe I can get some rest between now and 9 am (PACIFIC TIME - which is like, NOON here) when the race registration (FINALLY) opens. If that fails, I'll go ahead and get my long ride in and see if that takes the edge off. If none of that happens, my partners will likely clonk me on the head to put us all out of our misery!

**Updated to add: Guess who (successfully) registered for the Triathlon at Pacific Grove (at noon:01)? Yay! (Actually three of us did: my Navy buddy Lizichka, my partner Donna, and I. Yay us!!!) And? I've already gotten my ride and my lunch in. Maybe I can finally sleep! (Thanks for the encouragement J-Wim!)**