Baby Steps

Here is my "training plan" right now:

And the first week I didn't even get a little picture because my physical therapist figured I could remember how to lie on my back (abs engaged) and "march" (=the baby step version of "toe taps"). That taught my left leg (hip flexors, some ligament I can't remember the name of, and hamstrings) to "learn" from my right leg. Apparently it didn't know how to do some basic stuff like lift up and down in a straight line using the correct muscles.  Who knew?  I was kinda under the impression that your legs learned that stuff pretty early on - like in your first year - not in your 29th* year! Don't know what my left leg was doing all those years ago but it has some serious catching up to do.  

Let the learning commence!  It is AMAZING how committed I am to these little exercises.  It is also AMAZING how much harder those suckers are than I thought they would be.  It felt good to be sore - actually sore - from "working out".  Hey, you take what you can get. 

Other Stuff - 

You don't have to tell any but the very newest triathletes that our sport is about more than swim, bike, run. Endurance, recovery, gear, mental focus, nutrition - all of these are part of the lifestyle.  For me, an incredible and rewarding part of the journey has also been recovery from long ago emotional trauma.  I've exorcised demon after demon.  So, knowing how much the physical challenge of training has impacted and strengthened me emotionally - I don't know why I didn't expect the reverse!  

From February 2nd on, this year has been jam packed with stressful events for me and my family.  Nothing tragic - and I am most definitely grateful for that - but the hits, they just kept coming.  And stacking.  And compounding.  I looked to training to help me process and "fix" everything but it just didn't work. We were simply overwhelmed. Training was a slog.  I was tired.  Everything, everywhere was just so frickin difficult.  As a weight loss coach, I talk to my clients ALL THE TIME about how stress affects the body's ability to achieve and maintain ideal body size.  I've read all those studies about how depression and trauma can suppress the immune system.  I know all about how over training can lead to decreased performance and injury.  I just didn't put all of those intellectual pieces together and apply them to our training woes.  How could I be over training when I was following a training plan I've followed three other times? Why was I so much slower? Where was my endurance? Why didn't any of our "training foods" sit well? 

I thought I had learned to listen to my body. But I was listening to my mind, not my body.  My body was saying, "Slow down.  Stop.  Rest." My mind was saying, "You wimp. Get out there.  You've done this before.  If you don't follow the plan, you won't be able to finish the race." Well, duh.  My poor, sweet body did NOT care about non-refundable race fees, or how training was last year.  It was trying to process emotional stress after emotional stress.  My body said, "Please stop. I've got enough to deal with.  I can't keep up." My mind said, "You are a triathlete!  Half iron even!  Push through! Training will help you deal with stress!" (And in retrospect, I think training WOULD have helped me process the stress if I had had the presence of mind body to give up the race and keep the mileage low and the workouts short.)  Instead, the mixed signals escalated the situation. 

My mind was loud.  My body got louder.  It finally said, "STOP RIGHT THIS EFFIN MINUTE!" And here I sit.  On the couch.  Now granted it is Sunday - I would be sitting right here on the couch watching football** even if I were fully healthy and training perfectly for the B2B half iron.  But I would be sitting here sore, tired, and happy with myself for getting a long workout in before football.  Sigh.

I'm grateful for this lesson.  I'm grateful for the timing.  I want to learn all the lessons Ironman has to offer and I figure this is one to learn two plus years out.  I am a half iron triathlete.  Can't take that away.  And I proved to myself it wasn't a fluke: I went back and bettered my time.  So if I have to miss a race - a third B2B is an ok one to miss out on.  I'm committed to being healthy and strong.  Always stronger than before.  I am committed to becoming iron. Thank you my blogging buddies for still being around.  :)

Peace!

* 29? Ha ha ha.
**Speaking of football - GO TITANS!!  It was a seriously good day in Football Land.  Titans (my home team) and the Redskins (my first football love) both with wins AND the Lions - the freaking Detroit Lions beat the Cowboys (my most hated team of all time).  (And if you haven't heard how much I loathe the Dallas Cowboys, then you are very new to my blog.  Welcome!)