Rocky Road

Thursday night we had a 10 mile run on the schedule. The first four miles were fantastic. Then pretty much out of nowhere my stomach decided to rebel. It felt gurgly and sloshy and unhappy. I started going through all the possible culprits: What did I eat today? Could it be that GU I took before the run? Have I been drinking too much water? Is it because the weather is cooler than it's been?

I lumbered along for the next two miles stopping occasionally thinking I was going to hurl. (I didn't. Which is good. Puking in public is so uncool.) Then somehow I managed to pick a fight with my partner. Because being heartsick is the perfect compliment to being sick to your stomach? I don't know what was going on with me, but it was not pretty. I finally got home and could cry and puke in private.

Turns out it probably wasn't something I ate because the GI issues got even worse and went on for days. (At one point John was considering taking me to the ER against my will. What a horrible night!)

In addition to the physical shenanigans my stomach was pulling - I had the mental demons rampaging through my head. "How on earth can you think about skipping training this weekend? Don't you know what that's going to mean for your race? These are the last few training sessions of any length. You're going to lose every bit of conditioning you've managed to scrape together. How can..." It just went on and on.

Lying on my bathroom floor I realized there wasn't much I could do about my stomach. But there was a LOT I could do about those damn demons. One of the coolest things I'm learning in my coach training is how to tackle and dissolve limiting beliefs. We use several tools, but the one I decided to try is Byron Katie's process of inquiry, which she calls The Work. Essentially you question the truth of any thought that is holding you back or causing you discomfort. Through a specific formula of questions, you give evidence on why your thought might not really be true, and you come up with a "turnaround" thought that is at least as true if not more true than the original limiting one. My thought, "Being this sick is going to mess up my race!" was causing me nearly as much agony as my aching tummy. I crawled in bed with my computer and went through the questions. Is it true? Is it really true? What evidence do I have that it might not be true. That's where I got stuck. I couldn't come up with any concrete proof of why my thought might not be true.

Just then my email pinged. I started not to look at it but it was a newsletter from my coaching mentor. Usually I read every word the woman writes but I was mad at myself for not sticking with my "Work" and found myself skimming this one. That is until the word "triathlon" jumped off the page. There in the middle of the page was a story about one of the master life coaches who trained for a year for a triathlon only to have to have emergency eye surgery 18 days before her race. She ended up getting cleared to compete with the proviso that she not put her face in the water. So at the last minute she modified her swim stroke, let go of her expectations for the race, and (of course!) finished with flying colors. Here was my evidence! She faced a bigger physical challenge even closer to her race day and yet - her race was fine. I skipped the rest of the newsletter. I finished my inquiry, dissolved my negative thinking, and shut those demons up. I wish it had made me stop puking right then and there because THAT would be an even better story. But I did find some amazing peace that helped me settle in and take care of myself.

My race is just going to be whatever it is. I'll follow the training plan for these last two weeks but I am done stressing. I'm quietly excited. I figure I've gotten my vomit quota in for the year so I should be good to go. I look forward to all of the brand new experiences the Beach2Battleship half iron is going to be! Peace.

TODAY I LOVE: Synchronicity!