Just got to Nashville and ran by my attorney's office to sign a document on the way to pick up my kids and just happened upon some important information. We have a trial date. (The trial where the husband I divorced seven years ago is trying to take my kids from me? Yeah, that trial.) In fact, we've had a trial date for THREE MONTHS but no one told ME about it. "Oops, my bad," says the legal assistant. So, not sure what to do with the fact that I'm as mad at my attorney (or her office staff) as I am at my ex. You want to know when it is? A month from now. One. Month. That would be two weeks after I get back and two weeks before my triathlon. So completely aside from three plane tickets we have to come up with - like this minute and the trial fees I thought we had a couple more months to gather (because I foolishly assumed I'd have more than a few weeks notice!) - is the total and complete stress of preparing for this emotionally, mentally. Oh, and did I mention it's during the kids' first week of school? (Which is also Donna's first week of teaching.) Fun! No extra stress there or anything. Now I'm not sure that I should even go on my birthday trip! Yes, it's been planned for a year. Yes, I'd lose the fees for the triathlon clinic and the SF 1/2 marathon and YES I'd be pretty much forever pissed about letting my ex ruin my birthday plans. But I don't know how to scramble for the money and I don't know how to scramble for the emotional resources. I'm sorry to vent but this is a total curveball being thrown at me (in terms of timing) and I'm just not sure what the most responsible, faithful, right thing to do is!
For now I'm going to focus on my weekend with the boys, on my 10 mile run in the morning and my three hour bike on Sunday, and on letting my heart settle. Hope everyone's weekend is starting off better than mine!
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15 comments:
I don't even know what to say except no f'ing way.
I am sorry this is getting thrown at you at all but especially with no notice.
I don't know what to say about your birthday stuff except if you are stressed about everything will you really enjoy yourself anyway? And your b-day celebration doesn't have to be on your b-day right? If you need to postpone it do that, don't cancel it. Even if all the event can't happen you can still have a celebration. And maybe after this nonsense is behind you you will really want to celebrate.
You'll be in my thoughts...
Yikes. I'm sorry to hear this. Only you can make the right decision for you, and I'm sure you'll make the right one. Hugs!
For what it's worth I don't think you should change a thing.
Take the trip and make your attorney get a continuance.
She should also be falling all over herself to apologize and hoping you don't fire her.
[of course this is just my opinion -- and of course take it or leave it -- angry on your behalf tho]
God, I am so sorry. Like others I am at a loss for advice, but I wanted to say how appalled I was for you. That is ridiculous incompetence on your attorney's part.
Thinking of you. Enjoy your time with your boys.
Calyx,
I finally have time off-well 2 days-so now I can comment on everyones blogs!
First of all-the legal assistant sounds like a complete ass and very incompetent! I'm so sorry you're having this thrust into your plate right now-and with such short notice to prepare! I think that's what sucks most of all!!
As for your birthday, I agree, you can celebrate your birthday anytime!!! What would be the most important and meaningful birthday present for you? The San Fran half will be there next year and the year after-it isn't going away, so take that out of your mind!!! What is in your heart and what is the most important thing to you!!!
Of course don't get me started on the ex path-I think ex's are assholes-my ex boyfriend is an asshole and my ex-husband is just useless.... yes useless assholes!!! There you go!!
Only you can make the decision that is right for you!!! you'll know what to do!
I'm so sorry you're having to go thru all of this so soon!!! Call me if you need to vent!!!!
Penny
OMG, What horrible timing!! I don't know what to say but am hoping that things will become clearer for you over this weekend. I've often used long workouts to relieve stress and sort out problems in my head. Sometimes writing things down afterward helps, whether you choose to do so here or otherwise. A good ol' punching bag has also been known to help (i actually have one in my livingroom, believe it or not). Best of luck.
Take a deep breath, girlfriend. The suckage will clear up a bit after you've had time to digest this list of surprises. I wish you all the best with this. My Mom went through several divorces, and I know its tough. I wish you all the best of luck...
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean..... A good start!
I think that applies to legal assistants also.
I wish I could say some eloquent words to ease your pain but I can't. On the bright side though, you do have a court date now and maybe this will get settled sooner rather than later. Life is about the curveball, not the fastball. Learn to hit it and you become so much better. You've already suffered enough. It's time to end it. Besides, what a great belated birthday present! You would really have something to celebrate!
Man, that just STINKS!!! I don't blame you for being stressed and angry.
I do think enjoying the time with the boys is a good idea. And when you get past the huge emotional response, you'll probably figure out what is the right thing for you to do.
Best wishes. *hugs*
That really suxs. I hope you chose to go so you can try and relax and enjoy yourself
:( Wow, suckage.
Hope your bike ride went well!
This whole situation sucks.
For what it is worth, I don't think that you should cancel your trip.
1 - Don't give your ex that power. You are your own self. You have control of your life. You control the stress and how you manage it.
2- Which brings me to point 2. It seems that exercise it a major stress reliever for you. If that is the case, then go. Go so hard that nothing else matters. Find your solace.
If you can't destress, you'll be a basket case come court time. If this trip will destress you (even a little bit) then go for it. If it'll create more stress then don't go.
Stef mentioned that your attorney should get a continuance. That sounds like a good idea, and she's an attorney so she knows!
Southbay girl said it all. There is no NEED to go. The trip will be there next time. The celebration will be there. Don't let the 'have to go' thing add stress to you.
Go because you want to go. Go because it will be fun and relax your mind and make you ready to kick ass when you come back. Go because....
Go for yourself.
In the end, it's up to you. Go if it's less stress. Don't if it adds stress.
Right now, you need to do what YOU feel is right.
I hate those curveballs of life, but I'm starting to get use to them too! ARGHHHHHH! I won't add to the wonderful advice already given, but just a quick note to say I'm thinking about you.
Nice of the attorney for screwing up on notifying you. I think usually trial dates come out about 3 months in advance of the date because there are other procedures that have to be followed before trial. Hopefully this all works out!
I am thinking of you!! (((HUGS)))
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