She's Made The Kessell Run In Twelve Parsecs

When I talk to myself in the middle of a workout, I tend not to use original thoughts/phrases - but rather lines from movies. It's like the verbal processing center in my head shuts down and outsources the job when it thinks my brain is too busy to notice. Slackers. I try to be forgiving of my brain, though, when this happens. I imagine my brain to be pretty overloaded - like air traffic control out of O'Hare - trying to keep the complex body signals going to the right places: "You, glycogen, you're on deck." "Hey everybody, watch out for that pole! And that tree. And that dog. Just watch out." "Feet. Oh fee-eet. Keep moving, please!""Hormones? Hormones, again?! Already? Are you sure? Ok, ok, put them over there." All of the talk going on in my body leaves very little conversational ability in my mind, if you see what I mean. Hence the pithy movie lines masquerading as thought.

The problem is that I see very few movies (maybe three a year). This severely limits the ready-made, internal dialogue and explains the guest appearances by stand up comics and youtube web videos. "I am le tired," and "Cake or death" notwhithstanding - it's mostly movies. There are a few bits which are widely applicable and therefore, handy to have on tap. "Get up, Trinity!" (from the Matrix, duh) is one of the best because a) Trinity is hot, b) she is talking to herself which makes the line resonate for me like two mirrors reflecting each other, stretching back into infinity, and c) it reminds me to keep going when I don't think I can. There is a line from Stomp the Yard that also appears frequently. "It's not always about you, dog. We're a team. Remember?" While I'm not part of a team, per se - this line reminds me to honor how connected I am to those around me. It also occasionally gets directed at others (silently). That dude blocking the path so's I have to run in the mud to get around him? This is the line I would so say to him if I spoke to strangers when I worked out. Of course lines like "Run, Forrest, run!" "I've got a bad feeling about this," and "Suck my d!ck!" (<--from GI Jane) all have their occasional uses.

Sometimes, though, the second-stringers left in the verbal processing center send out lines that don't make any sense. I find myself running along puzzling over gems like, "Wingardium levio-sah" or "Sun beet allay!" WTF, mate? How on earth is that supposed to help? I don't even know what the second one means! I'm pretty sure it's Greedo talking to Han Solo in the Cantina (<--cue theme music). It sounds Rodian to me, but perhaps it's an altogether different bounty hunter in a later movie. Whatever. I certainly have no idea what to do with "Sun beet allay!" three miles into a run. These are the days I firmly resolve to remember my iPod next time. Unless of course my next workout is in the pool (or worse, open water). On swim days the best I can hope for is to hear ANYTHING in my head except the ominous "Duh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh!"